Friday Fictioneers #5

Friday Fictioneers

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Oh, I love this one.  I’ll consider expanding it sometime, because I see lots of short story potential.  How about you?

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“Wait for it.”

“It’s cold!”

“Quit whining.”

The boys sat on the ridge, buzzing with curiosity, ripe with excitement.

“Are you sure?”  The younger asked.

“Quiet, will ya?  Just watch!”

Sunset.  The first rumble was soft, like far cried thunder.

“Earthquake?”

“No…”

They waited.  An ear-splitting crack.  The ground burst up, a roar split the thin air, and a dragon with fire-etched wings rose from the caldera.  It turned, regarded them with ancient eyes, and then took to the painted sky.

The younger boy stared, open-mouthed.  The elder laughed.  “Well?” he asked.

A sheepish smile.  “I’m… not cold any more.”

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About Kaitlin

Kaitlin and Michael are co-authors of The Athele Series. They met in summer of 2006 and married in fall of 2009. They both teach English in South Korea. In his free time, Michael writes, plays video games, plays DnD, and idly contemplates world domination. In her free time, Kaitlin writes, runs, dances, and feeds her 'oo-shiny!' complex.

33 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers #5

  1. Jake Kale says:

    He might not be cold anymore, but I’m guessing he will need a change of underwear. In his situation I might, too.

    Here’s my entry:
    http://jaykayel.wordpress.com/2012/06/04/myth-confirmed-100-word-flash-fiction/

  2. bittercharm says:

    I loved the story and your blog. i will stick around for more.

    Regards,
    BC

  3. Sonia Lal says:

    LOL Love it. Wonderful take on the prompt.

  4. Mike says:

    A great take on the prompt.
    I loved the dialogue in your story and the emergence of the dragon was inspired. Thanks for a great read.

  5. dbfurches says:

    Loved how you capture the wonder of childhood, with the unexpected fantasy twist at the end. Mine’s here:
    http://stonesoupnovelist.com/2012/05/31/a-scene-something-on-the-horizon/

  6. Carrie says:

    That picture is the perfect setting for a dragon. Fun Little story definitely has potential to be expanded

  7. JKBradley says:

    Excellent story. Dragons will always capture the imagination. Thanks.

    Here’s mine: http://thebradleychronicles.wordpress.com/2012/05/30/flash-fiction-friday-an-addiction/

  8. Brian Benoit says:

    Great job — kids are fun to write, and you did it really well here. I agree with expanding it to a longer piece; you’ve got interesting characters already, and a world that’s obviously ripe for exploration. Go for it!

    Brian (Here’s mine: http://pinionpost.com/2012/06/01/gradens-climb/)

  9. I echo the earlier sentiments above: it was a real pleasure there wasn’t death and destruction in your story, just a wonderful description of two little boys seeing a venerable dragon. Excellent.
    Mine, much less cosmic, is at http://repuestodelatabla.wordpress.com/2012/05/31/friday-fictioneer-100-word-story-flat-top/

  10. Very clever. I love dragons and am happy that this one is benign. i kind of go for the warm and cuddly dragons more than the nasty evil ones. I always felt they were misunderstood, remnants of the Phoenix myths.
    Thanks for not letting the boys be devoured or barbecued!
    Lindaura
    Thanks for your great comments on my page.
    here I am for those who have not seen me yet:
    http://fictionvictimtoo.blogspot.com

  11. erinleary says:

    Yes, definitely more to tell there. I like the theme – it was very intriguing.

    Mine is here: http://erinleary.wordpress.com/2012/05/31/flash-friday-fiction-3/

  12. Wow! I’m sitting here as open-mouthed as the younger boy. Good one!

    Thanks for visiting my story (http://newpillowbook.wordpress.com/2012/06/01/friday-fictioneers-caravan/) – because otherwise I might have missed yours, and that would be a shame.

  13. I loved it! Yes, so much short story potential!!! What happens next???? Thanks for swinging by mine – http://theforgottenwife.com/2012/05/30/friday-fictioneers-1-june-2012-the-conquerer/

  14. Oh, wonderful! Now I’ll have to visit Hawaii and see if I can get Doug’s volcano to breathe a dragon! (Sorry, Doug!)
    Loving the fire-etched wings in particular. :-)

    We’re at http://www.lazuli-portals.com/flash-fiction/time-is-running-out (160 words this week)

  15. unspywriter says:

    Great, creative take on the prompt. It’s always fun when there be dragons. ;-)

    Here’s mine: http://unspywriter.wordpress.com/friday-fictioneers/expendable/

  16. Vividly written. I coudl feel the terror. (at least I felt terror) Mine is here: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/06/01/fridayfictioneers-my-pilot/

  17. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Kaitlin,

    I’m thinking this will stand the test of time and emerge one of the better submissions for the weekend. I loved that they knew where to wait and for what. Very imaginative story.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/06/01/poliahu-at-dawn/

  18. alzaquan says:

    “The ground burst up, a roar split the thin air, and a dragon with fire-etched wings rose from the caldera. It turned, regarded them with ancient eyes, and then took to the painted sky.” is just….bliss to read and reread

  19. rochellewisoff says:

    Loved it! Suspense and surprise. Good story. Here’s mine, a bit more grounded in “reality”. http://www.rochelle-wisoff.blogspot.com/2012/06/kiss-me-sailor.html

  20. Atiya says:

    LOL, that was so cute. I love the last line from the younger boy. I think if I were him I’d probably wet myself. That would keep me warm. Though I have to give you points for not saying WHY he’s not cold anymore, of course you already see where my mind went. What a direction to fly with this picture. Well done. http://remakingme-atiyatownes.blogspot.com/2012/06/friday-flash-fiction-start-day.html

  21. TheOthers1 says:

    This was cool. I was wondering what was going to happen and I was extremely excited that a dragon was the end result. Fabulous.

    My attempt: http://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/05/31/the-beautiful-hush/

  22. Kwadwo says:

    There’s suspense in the dialogue. That’s good.
    Then the surprise. A dragon. I didn’t see that one coming.

    Here’s mine: http://logo-ligi.com/2012/06/01/the-standpoint/

  23. Linda says:

    I really enjoyed that twist as I sort of expected a supersonic aircraft to come flying in low – thank you.

    Here’s mine: Here’s mine: http://womanontheedgeofreality.com/2012/06/01/friday-fictioneers-too-near-the-sun/

  24. Ah, dragons! Greatly misunderstood creatures. A symbol of Wales, the land of at least one of my ancestors – unfortunately not a Pendragon. You are right; this story could go on to bigger things. However, I enjoyed it this way, too. If any of your visitors would like to read mine, it’s at http://marilynkaydennis.wordpress.com/2012/06/01/madison-woods-friday-fictioneers-waiting/

    • Kaitlin says:

      Hey! Waaaaay back before the revolutionary war, my ancestors were from wales too! Yeah!

      • Go Wales! Mine was my great-grandfather. His widowed mother spanked him when he was seven, so he packed his things and went off to join the English Merchant Navy as a cabin-boy. Didn’t speak a word of English. Those were the days! Sailing ships that took months to get to Australia – which was where he finally settled at the age of 26.

        • Kaitlin says:

          What a story! There’s a lot of stories about my family from the civil war (for instance, my mother’s side fought for the south, and my father’s were part of the underground railroad). I want to get my hands on a timeline of my family so I can try and write that story!

          • I wanted to write a book about my great-grandfather and his ship but it involves a lot of research in Wales and England, for starters, and I’m in Australia now. It would have been more convenient when I was in France, but there were a few other things happening at the time. It would have been a work of fiction using the ship. Oh well!

  25. A very fanciful tale, indeed. The prompt certainly looks like it might make a good birthplace of dragons. Well done.

  26. aliimran13 says:

    haha…love it :)

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